Were you thinking of visiting Canada? If so, you must be out of your mind.
Canadian Parliament, Ottawa. Photo: Flickr/Joel Bedford
Perhaps you heard it’s quite beautiful there?
Spencer Creek, Dundas, Ontario. Photo: Flickr/Joe deSousa
You can forget it.
Canada’s majestic Niagara Falls, Ontario. Photo: Flickr/Anupam_ts
First of all, they just elected a really boring Prime Minister, who doesn’t also happen to box for charity.
Canada’s Prime Minister Justin Trudeau. Photo: Flickr/Justin Trudeau
I can’t believe 35 million people even live in this horrible place.
Canada’s largest city, Toronto. Photo: Flickr/Dennis Jarvis
The beaches are just nasty, filled to the brim with tourists.
Kelly Beach, Kouchibouguac National Park, New Brunswick, Canada. Photo: Flickr/Shawn Harquail
You can’t relax anywhere at all. Ever.
Rideau River, South of Ottawa, Ontario. Photo: Flickr/Jamie McCaffrey
But the worst thing is how unbelievably flat it is. You can forget character, it doesn’t exist in this country.
Sulfur Mountain, Banff, Alberta. Photo: Flickr/Paul Gorbould
There’s just nothing to look at. At all. Like this boring view. Blah.
Icefields Parkway, Banff National Park. Photo: Flickr/Sheila Sund
If only someone could do something different. Unique. But no. Instead you have things like this going on.
Montreal, Peel Street, Formula 1 Weekend. Photo: Flickr/Doug
Speaking of Montreal, the fashion there is known to be really hideous. No style whatsoever.
Formula 1 weekend, Montreal, Lingerie show. Photo: Flickr/Humanoide
Now, just try finding something fresh to eat. It’s like these people are living off canned foods.
Public Market, Granville Island, Vancouver, Canada. Photo: Flickr/Vilseskogen
And you can forget all about fine dining. I mean who in the world would want to taste this?
The Pear Tree, Burnaby, British Columbia. Photo: Flickr/Michael Kwan (Freelancer)
And if you’re into something different, Canada offers no unique option whatsoever. I mean what is this?
A classic Quebec poutine. Photo: Flickr/LexnGer
Canadians are above all useless, terrible, just horrendous at sports. Especially when it comes to hockey.
Gold Medalists, Team Canada. Photo: Flickr/s.yume
And if you’re looking for history or interesting architecture, you can totally forget about it. That’s a foreign concept in Canada.
Quartier Petit Champlain, Quebec. Photo: Flickr/Steve Leclerc
Oh, and if you’re into having fun, you can also forget that. There’s just never a party in this country. I mean this is what they call a party.
The Toronto Caribana Parade, Ontario. Photo: Flickr/Roberto Baca
Not to mention that the parks are absolutely disgusting. Dirty, lifeless… just pathetic.
Windsor Great Park, Surrey, Ontario. Photo: Flickr/Fotorus
And forget the country’s North. That large amount of land up there is just a huge massive waste. Just a horrible, horrible place. Not to mention underwhelming.
Yellowknife, North West Territories. Photo: Flickr/Scott Lough
How does anyone even stand living in this hell hole?
Bruce Peninsula National Park, Ontario. Photo: Flickr/Muhammad Ghouri
If you know what’s good for you, just stay far away from this place. You might accidentally fall in love and get stuck, and you don’t want that dreadful fate to befall you!
Canada Day, Ottawa. Photo: Flickr/cjuneau
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