This expecting mother was excited about what her baby would look like. Little did she know, she would get the shock of her life when she first laid eyes on him!
Ebony Lumpkin thought being part of the U.S. Navy was the highlight of her life but then she fell pregnant with a baby. Her pregnancy was completely smooth and she could not wait to see her little one. “My sister in law took the ultrasound pictures that showed a perfectly healthy beautiful baby boy,” she told LoveWhatMatters.
When the fateful day of her son’s birth came, like any mother, she was excited to meet her child. After spending 11 hours in labor, she heard some gasp in the room when her baby came out. She was about to begin panicking when she heard the next part, the nurse said, ‘he has RED HAIR!’
This gave Ebony pause but she asked the nurse to wash her baby again. The nurse came back and told Ebony she had washed her baby three times and he was infact a red head! She said, No mama, you’ve got a little ginger.’
Everyone was surprised at the baby’s appearance since red heads are not typically expected from African American mothers. Ebony recalled to LoveWhatMatters that doctors and nurses from other departments all over the hospital came to see her and her baby, who she named Matthew.
But when Ebony held her child for the first time, his appearance did not matter at all as she was more focused on the bond she felt with him.
Once she resumed her normal life with her child in tow, Ebony faced a lot of speculation from everyone around her. “I had to explain that he wasn’t adopted, wasn’t my stepson, and wasn’t albino. That I was his mom and not the aunt, Godmother, or the nanny. No one ever believes he’s mine. Or if they do, the next assumption is, ‘Oh he must get his red hair from his father.’ Actually both parents have to carry the MC1R gene for the child to have it,” she told LoveWhatMatters.
But at this point, even strangers will come and comment on her son. It bothers Ebony when she is in a hurry and people stop her to ask about her son or worse, ask to touch his hair. But she says she knows how to politely decline in these situations.
But there are instances which get to her. “My two boys and I were waiting in line to get a pizza one day when a lady asked if I liked being the nanny. It didn’t really register with me what she said at first, so I replied, ‘I don’t know ,I’ve never thought about it before.’ She said, ‘Well aren’t you their nanny?’ I told her, ‘No, they’re my boys.’ She looked at Adam with his olive skin and dark brown hair and said, ‘Maybe him, but not the little white boy,’” she recalled. She said she lost her patience and told the woman she does not have time to explain how those are her children to her. After this the woman stormed out and the people at the restaurant clapped for Ebony for dealing with her intrusive questions so patiently.
She even recalls being discriminated against becuase of her son’s features. She was trying to put her son’s shoe on in a parking lot and a white woman saw and came to help her. Ebony then started to make her way when another woman called the police, thinking Ebony had stole the white woman’s child. She recalls to LoveWhatMatters, “I just came from the doctor’s office so I had his birth certificate with me. The police officer didn’t believe me. He was about to call child services and arrest me when the young lady who had helped me saw what was happening. If she wasn’t there to help, I don’t know what would have happened! It was the most terrifying thing I’ve ever experienced.”
Matthew also faced issues in his life. Ebony recalls when kids at school convinced him that Ebony was not his real mother because she was black. For about a week he asked every red-haired woman if she was his mother. “It was the most hurtful and embarrassing moment of my life. I didn’t know what to do. My mom told me to be patient and pray. Also, to sit him down and explain it the best I could. Not to get mad. To just breathe. So that’s what I did. While it worked, it still hurt,” she remembers.
Then her oldest son recommended that they dye their hair red and when they did, Matthew was ecstatic that his family looked like him!
Ebony says they have tried to trace where the red hair comes from. She tells LoveWhatMatters, “We have tried to trace back the lineage on both sides of our family 5 generations and we have found nothing. Not a single person on either side of our family has had red hair. Not one. My next step is to do an official Ancestry and a 23andMe test for both the boys and me.”
Ebony is nonetheless grateful for her children and loves them both infinitely regardless of their appearance.
What a sweet story! We wish the best to Ebony and her children.
Share this story to show people how different families can look and not to be quick to make judgements!
