(I’m shopping at a large electronics store. I’m dressed casually in a blue graphic tee which, if you aren’t paying attention, for a second might look like what the employees wear.)
Other Customer: “I need you to find this for me.”
(I don’t respond as I am not aware that she is talking to me. I am reading the specs on the back of a box. The other customer then shoves an opened item in my hands on top of the box I am holding.)
Me: “What the h***?!”
Other Customer: “HELLO?! FIND this for me.”
Me: *hands it back to her* “I don’t work here. Work on your manners, lady.”
Other Customer: *she just stares at me for a minute* “YOU HAVE GOT TO BE KIDDING ME!”
(I just shake my head and start walking away. She is really getting on my nerves.)
Other Customer: *following me* “STOP RIGHT THERE! You are NOT allowed to talk to paying customers that way!”
Me: “I’M a paying customer. I don’t work here! Go away!”
Other Customer: “I want to talk to your manager! You need to be fired for your attitude.”
Me: “They can’t fire me if I don’t work here. Stop following me!”
(At this point, other people are staring, laughing at the lady, and sharing sympathetic looks with me.)
Other Customer: “Oh, we’ll see about that!”
(A manager steps in as this lady has made a scene in the store and a lot of people have taken notice.)
Manager: “What seems to be the problem here?”
Other Customer: “This b**** is giving me the worst attitude! I have never been treated so badly in all my life!”
Me: “And this psycho keeps following me around thinking I work here! I keep telling her I don’t work here!”
Other Customer: “You won’t be working here if you keep up your b****y attitude!”
(The manager is clearly very uncomfortable.)
Manager: “Uh, ma’am, she doesn’t actually work here.”
Other Customer: “You need to handle this! Fire this b**** immediately!”
(The manager looks around at the customers and employees who have gathered at a safe distance and are snickering at the scene. He looks at me and shrugs.)
Manager: *to me* “Uh… You’re fired, ma’am?”
Me: *dramatically and smiling* “YOU CAN’T FIRE ME BEFORE YOU’VE EVEN HIRED ME!”
Manager: *smiling* “I’d like to offer you a job as an associate. Awesome pay and benefits?”
Me: “I’ll TAKE it!”
Manager: “You’re fired.”
Me: “NOOOOOOO! How could you?!”
(The crowd starts laughing.)
Other Customer: “Are you MOCKING me?!”
Me: “He’s just giving you what you demanded. Now quit bothering me.”
(She turned bright red and stormed out of the store without another word.) Em>
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